The Truth 
 

I’m not much of a liar. I’m a straight shooter and I punch above the belt. I’m like the Clint Eastwood of ethics. I once told someone her haircut made her look like a female Ray Martin because 1) I can’t lie to people’s faces and 2) it did.

So the last thing I would want is for someone to accuse me of authoring a biased propaganda blog designed to drive the twisted vested agenda of Austraining, and indeed the entire Australian aid and development effort. (They want to reduce poverty and suffering, those monsters!) No, we definitely don’t want that, so this post is going to move away from the chirpy happy-go-lucky volunteer attitude of posts of old and drop some serious truth bombs at the breakfast table. Here it is. Sit down. Are you ready? Hold my hand and we can get through this together:

Some parts of volunteering suck.

There. I said it. I heard you gasping in the back row but now it’s out there. It’s done.

Yes, there are a billion wonderful somethings that come out of volunteering (see every other post I have written) but it can also be incredibly difficult and frustrating and often a wee bit soul-crushing (in a non-permanent way like when your favourite pair get kicked off the Amazing Race because they couldn’t navigate the canals of Venice fast enough.**)

As I near the final days of my assignment I’m having a lot of these soul-searching moments. Has my assignment met enough of its goals? Has my work been sustainable? Will 18 months of hard work create an ongoing legacy or will the obstacles still bearing down on the project eventually get the better of it?

The uncertainty of the answers to these questions make the ending of an assignment bittersweet to say the least.

Technically speaking we didn’t achieve the original outcomes of the assignment because outside factors meant adjustments needed to be made. Did I meet my own expectations? I just did a quick google search and turns out I didn’t fix the world, so no. Drat. Mental note to try harder next time...

But on the plus side (here comes the spin!) I can see all the good things we have managed to do. All the small baby steps made towards that ever elusive perfect goal. Will I feel completely fulfilled and content leaving Buala in three week’s time? No sirs and madams, I will not. But this is good because it is this dissatisfaction that drives people to do work that hopes to make the world a little better than it is. It is for this reason that we aren’t all just sitting at home in our underwear eating Fruit Loops and watching reruns of Survivor on television all day.***

I’d never want to encourage anyone to look at the world through rose-coloured glasses (because they give you a headache and make you look silly) so there’s some cold hard truths to keep you warm on a chilly winter’s night.****

As always, and for another three weeks, until next time!

**Is that still a relevant cultural reference? I haven’t watched TV in 18 months...

***Again, sorry if that reference is dated...

***I am aware of how little sense that sentence makes. Speaking too much Pijin tends to do that to your English...