That sinking feeling
 

You know that feeling you get when you stand on a rickety chair perched on an uneven table to try and change a light bulb and you realise mid-stretch that you are re-enacting that WorkSafe ad that graphically shows the lady’s wrist muscles tearing when she inevitably topples to the ground? That ‘this is a very bad idea and I reckon I might just die’ feeling?
 

I got that feeling on my first round the island boat trip sometime between the point where the rise and fall of the sea was almost twice my height and the torrential rain partnered by violent lightning started. I couldn’t really pinpoint the exact moment because I was busy thinking about the scene in The Perfect Storm where the boat is swallowed by 80ft waves and they all die.*

A couple of hours into what I had mentally declared my ‘protracted watery demise’, we approached a point at the eastern end of Isabel province that I’m sure has a local name but which I have renamed ‘Death Pass’ for reasons that should be fairly obvious to the astute reader. The boat slowed down and our skipper and my counterpart considered their options.

Clearly if we tried to pass there was a good chance that we would capsize, be battered against the sharp rocks and end up a little bit dead. On the other hand, ‘saving face’ is incredibly important in Melanesian culture and no one wanted to wear the shame of having turned back. So, naturally, the decision was left up to me, the newly arrived foreigner whose main boating experience has been in those little metal numbers that sit on springs in the sandpit in children’s playgrounds.

Needless to say my decision was a resounding ‘let’s turn back, now, right away, give me the steering thingy and I’ll drive...’ which pleased everyone. My counterpart and the skipper didn’t have to lose face and in all the retellings of our adventure I happily took ownership of the title of ‘sea coward’ in exchange for remaining amongst the living.

This was one of my first major experiences of having to adapt to cultural differences. Often they don’t make a lot of sense on the surface level (surely everyone wants to not die beaten against jagged rocks in a storm...) but the challenge is to move beyond simply saying ‘I don’t understand this therefore it is stupid’ and to instead do your very best to either try and understand how it sits in within the wider culture or else be happy to say ‘I don’t understand this and I probably never will but I respect it.’

This way everyone wins. Except the WorkSafe lady. And Mark Wahlberg....Until next time.

*This may be a slight exaggeration. I’m a child of the metric system...But they were big waves. Enough to frighten Mark Wahlberg and he’s hard as.