Many of you have heard of Edward de Bono, and his thinking hats. I'm not terribly familiar with these hats of his, but I have heard of them over the years.

Do you believe in fate?

 We have had an exciting thing happen in the last few months. We have been able to assist a school library to reopen its doors to the students and teachers.

This morning the swell is teeny and the sun is hiding behind a pale sea-misty haze. In the lead up to the first nippers morning of the year I was sending regular prayers to Huey for conditions just like this. No sun or surf here thanks.

Sounds strange, doesn’t it?

Once upon a time there was a young Australian woman (let’s just call her Claire). This young woman (or ‘Claire’) applied to volunteer in a remote part of the Solomon Islands because she had read too many pirate adventure comics as a child and fancied herself a bit of a modern day Robinson Crusoe...

We’re almost at the end of my volunteer assignment. I say ‘we’ because you’ve been on this journey alongside me, dedicated readers. (And by ‘dedicated readers’ I do, of course, mean you, Ma.)

I have a Tết-induced hangover and one line (‘Tết, Tết, Tết, Tết, Tết, Tết, Tết, Tết, Tết, Tết, Tết, Tết đến rồi!’) of a Vietnam-meets-Britney-Spears pop tune stuck in my head.

No. Nothing to do with late night partying and copious amounts of alcohol.

 What do the children at Gleno kindergarten talk to each other about?

I’m not much of a liar. I’m a straight shooter and I punch above the belt. I’m like the Clint Eastwood of ethics. I once told someone her haircut made her look like a female Ray Martin because 1) I can’t lie to people’s faces and 2) it did.

If you happened to be walking past my house right now you’d be forgiven for thinking that unsavoury things were afoot. You’d hear the sound of frenzied movement and flesh on flesh slapping, followed by a breathy ‘oh, yeah, baby.’ Yeah, you’d be forgiven for thinking someone was gettin’ jiggy wit it in my domicile.*

But, alas, no.